Letters of Support

Susan,
I am so glad to have found your website to share my wonderful son with the world. You have done such a great job with the site and information you are sending around the world. I got my grief packet this weekend and want to thank you for such a beautiful grief pin which I am putting on my coat today. I look forward to going to your website daily and reading all about the new people who just found you like I did a couple of weeks ago, it has helped me with my grief process which is still a roller coaster for me.

I know that only time will heal and with all the help I am getting I know it will. Thanks to you!

Have a Good Day!

Donna

Susan,
Thank you so much just for being there. I am grasping for any format that will work. I know I can't do this by myself . I am talking with people from Compassionate Friends. It helps a little to know there are others out there going through the same thing. I have not met with anyone yet about this. As a matter of fact, my family and friends are trying to get me out of he house. They just don't get that I am not ready yet. I'm not sure what is wrong with me, but I can't even pick up the many books that family and friends have given me. It is so kind of you to offer so much support. I think the e-mails and maybe some phone calls will do for now. I appreciate your offers. My daughter, [Samantha], 20 yrs., died on Nov. 28th of an accidental overdose. My brother, whom lives with us, found her 1s in my bed, then I and then James. I feel like someone has yanked my heart out & then stomped on it. I want her back. I am having a very bad day today.

I look forward to our correspondence.
Stephanie...[Samantha's] mom.

Dear Susan,
Thank you so very much for the grief pin and packet you sent to me. Your letter touched my heart in a way that only you could understand. I am so very sorry about [Erika], your beautiful daughter. I am sorry that you know the pain of losing your precious child. I thank you for sharing and caring...on this so very difficult journey. This pain is overwhelming...I hope to share Jason with you sometime...

Hugs
June, [Jason's] Mom

Susan,
I did receive the grief packet and thank you so much. I read all the info right away. I find I can't read enough and there are so many good books out there on grief. Your pin is beautiful. The design is so unique. I'm loving it and wearing it everywhere. Thank you also for writing a long letter to me. It really meant a lot to me. I find people don't take my feelings seriously (they think I'm just a grandparent). I don't have much time this morning but just wanted to THANK YOU SO MUCH I received your E newsletter photos were great. You do give us all such H O P E. I've gotten quite a few replies from the message board which warmed my heart. Thanks for having this wonderful website.

Lots of warm HUGS,
[Jessica's] Grandma
Lisa

P.S. I will send a donation soon

Hi Susan,
I am glad to hear that you are still going strong with your GRIEFHAVEN project. I have referred a number of my clients who were going through the grieving process to your website, and will continued to do so when ever it is appropriate. Keep up the great work. Blessings and Peace to you always,
Dr. Joe

Hello Susan,
I just went to your website and looked at the pics I sent you. The site is very nice to visit which I do each day. Thanks Susan have a good day.

Dear Erika's Mom...............
Think of you so often. I don't think anyone or anything has helped me as much as you. It is a journey to the end of our days, that is for sure. I miss my daughter so much, more as time passes. The wound isn't as raw, but the ache is deeper. Love to you dear lady...........

Kimberly's Mom

God bless you for helping others.

Yours,
Edgar

Thanks for the newsletter. The newsletter is wonderful .... very professionally done and compelling. You're doing amazing work.
xoxo Wade

Susan,
Received the April Newsletter this noon after a bad morning. Lost it a few times reading some of the articles (both Merrie and I have noted a higher degree of empathy for others' losses). What I really wanted to tell you, however, is that as soon as I saw your 'Final Truth', I dashed to the freezer and pulled out the Edy's Grand, Choc. Fudge Sundae. While it's not a cure-all, it sure did help. Thanks again. Neil (Grieving, but living and loving and appreciating what we have)
Neil

Hi Susan,
I just read the newsletter. It really is terrific. It looks so professional. Great Job!
Love, Judy

DEAR SUSAN,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR E-MAIL TO ME TONIGHT. TRULY KNOW HOW GRATEFUL I AM THAT YOU CARE FOR ME, AND WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH, WHEN YOU HAVE ALSO HAD THE GREATEST LOSS OF YOUR ERIKA. IT MAKES ME KNOW THAT I ALSO HAVE A PURPOSE TO DO,THAT MAY MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONES LIFE, SO MANY THINGS YOU SAID TONIGHT, ARE THE SAME FEELINGS THAT I HAVE.
BRENDA

Thanks for the packet.......I read it all. It's still laying on the unused portion of my bed and will read it again. Thank you so much.

I look forward to hearing from you soon. Hope you are having a good weekend and I applaude you for seeing the mom whose daughter passed. You are so courageous! Thanks for being the kind of person you are----I treasure your friendship.

In service to youth,

DEAR SUSAN,
A DREAM I WAS HAVING MADE ME WAKE UP, AND IT IS 2:30 IN THE MORNING, SO I CAME IN AND READ YOU HAD GOTTEN THE PHOTOS OF BROOKE AND ADAM. YES, WHEN I LOOK AT THE PICTURES IT STILL SO VERY PAINFUL, BUT ONE DAY, I WILL LOOK AT THEM, AND REMEMBER THE WONDERFUL, GOOD, SWEET MEMORIES. IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR ME TO ADD THEIR PICTURES TO YOUR WEDSITE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE HOW VERY BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE, AND I SO WANT THEM TO BE REMEMBERED. YOU CONTINUE TO SAY SUCH WONDERFUL WORDS TO ME THAT TOUCH MY HEART MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW, ONE DAY, I KNOW FOR SURE, THAT GOD WILL TRULY SEND YOU A GREAT BLESSING.....
BRENDA

Susan, Thank you, these pictures are just wonderful and bring such a great big smile to my face. You do so many wonderful things for all of us.
Love,
Pat

Dearest Susan,
I'm so tired emotionally and it's starting to wear me down. I feel at times that if God wants her to get well then what is the hold up and if God wants her to die then what's the hold up? Isn't that horrible? I just see her getting weaker and there is nothing we can do but wait and pray.

Hope all is well with you and there isn't a day that I don't think of you and the courage that it took for you to face your own daughter's destiny.
Love and kisses
Ritta

dear susan,
got the cd today, thank you. i just went to the memory page. i could not be any happier with it, it turned out so wonderful, i smiled tonight for the first time seeing their wonderful sweet faces, today, june 20, was two years ago that they died. i cried off and on, but made it through. My husband spent the day with me, which made my day not quite so sad. what day and month did erika die, so i may remember you on that date? susan, please always remember how greatful and proud i am of you what you are doing. you have made me feel better, feel not so alone, and have said such kind wonderful things .

I would be interested in a DVD of the Video Portraits of Grief. I have lost a child and would like information on getting through difficulty of losing a son through an motorcycle accident. It seems that this lost caused me to go back and grieve the lost of my baby boy years before. It brings back those hurts as well.

Thank you,
Joyce

Thank you for some direction, I am so lost...
So thankful, Suzann
[Jonathan's] Mom

I am the Administrative Assistant of the Family Service Center in Wilmette Illinois and we have 22 various social workers/psychotherapists. We saw your newsletter and we absolutely love it. I was wondering if I can get on the mailing list and get more copies if possible. I do not know if this is possible but if you do need to contact myself, please feel free. Thank you,
Cori

Dearest Susan,
Thank you for hearing my prayers...Life is so very painful right now...I am trying to hang on...you are a life line! I have been struggling and not finding anything until you...

Hi Susan,
First I want to thank you for such a wonderful place you have given us parents to be able to speak with others dealing with the same situations. A friend told me about Grief Haven and it is wonderful. I did a posting yesterday and have already had a reply. It makes me feel a part of this "special group" and I really needed this.

My youngest daughter died suddenly at the age of 26 on December 4, 2004. It was totally unexpected and I am not dealing well with it at all. I am now in the 2nd year and it is so much harder than the first. She left a beautiful daughter who is now 7 and we are raising her - thank God for this opportunity to have her every day in our lives.

I cannot commend you enough for putting all of this together to help those of us who feel as if we are just drifting through the days - not thinking, not feeling (anything but pain and grief) unable to concentrate and putting our other family relations in a strain.

These last few days have been really rough and when I found out about your site, I was thrilled.

What an incredible being you are... not made of hardened, unmovable steel but like a redwood tree - tall and proud and strong, but still able to yield a bit to the wind. Move all you need and want - you have many around you who will always support you and be there for you no matter how hard the wind is blowing.

I am glad I know you. I love you.

Hi Susan,
While i have your attention for a quick second with this response i'd like to take this time to thank you for taking the time out of your life to continue to help others on this terrible journey of grief. So many to choose to try to forget......it is soooooo nice to know some want to REMEMBER......hugs to you.

Thanks again

Hi Susan,

It is interesting that I see your letter from Erika on this web page. The first commentary is on leadership, and then the second is about your beautiful daughters' poem to you.

Michael Josephsons' words about what a leader is "True leaders are catalysts to bold action or meaningful change. They teach, persuade and inspire. They change minds and attitudes. They mobilize people. The credentials of a real leader are the list of things he or she reforms for the better. " and "If you want to be a real leader, do something that truly matters."

I want to let you know that what you have done with Grief Haven has made a difference for me and I am sure for countless others. Thank you.

Susan,
You're reply this morning has made my day! I go on to the site immediately when I get into work - I look so forward to it. You will never know how this site helps me. Thank you for it.

Hugs & Blessing to you

Susan (Erika's Mom),
I read your packet a few days ago and was moved to tears. How absolutely eloquent your contributors are, including yourself in expressing the way it truly feels and is. I shut down for a few days and sunk to a depressive state that really rocked me. That's when I can't see any reason at all to be alive. Doesn't it all seem so pointless? There is no reason to do anything when what mattered is gone. In truth, I am hard to live with. What I feel now eclipses everything else. In the Jewish religion, I understand they grieve for a whole year and are not expected to continue their day to day life in the same old way. Doesn't that seem more civilized? To honor the loss of your loved one in an obvious way. To wear an armband or veil so all can see that some earth-shattering event occurred! Wouldn't that cushion the healing process if the passing of someone was not just a blip on the radar screen? That's why your grief pin means so much. Forgive me for using you as a therapist. All questions are rhetorical. No answer is required. Realizing that the world is not under my control, actually not even the space I occupy helps me to let go and accept the way life unfolds. I am Trying. Thanks for being there. I loved your letter and the newsletter is a life saver. Be well. Will communicate again.

Dear Susan,
Oh thank you for you. how you have taken your loss and made a living monument to your daughter. How inspiring you are. When you speak, I listen. I know your heart is pure and you speak only the truth. If you hadn't become involved with Griefhaven, could you have made it? Did it save you? Will I need a purpose to go on living? I see myself now and I am surprised that 6 mos. has passed and I am still here. Am I better? I don't know. Is it possible to accept [ ] being gone and live too without crying every time you speak his name? I didn't know how very much I loved him, and I want to only see him one more time. I really thought I was a rational, sensible person who understood about life and death. I knew all the cliches and handled my parents' and sister's deaths very well, whatever that means. This has rocked me so badly that I move slowly and inch through my day. I know you understand. I always thought that things work out somehow in life but my very belief system is shattered. How do you heal that? When [ ] left. I think the real me went with him and I am not me anymore. But I still wake up, and eat and watch tv and read and I know it is all an act, a facade, a stiff upper lip sort of thing. I feel as if I am waiting for something, but I don't know what. Thank you for holding my hand through this endless journey we are on. Maybe we will understand it all one day and actually be rejoined with them. Oh, how I long for that. After I write you, I will dry my eyes, make a cup of tea, and feel better for a while. And isn't that all we can ask for?

Dear Susan,
First I want to thank you for your extremely helpful emails. I have been wanting to write to you and another friend who knows this loss and unbearable pain but somehow sitting and writing about how I am not doing well made me do even worse, if that makes any sense as I try to explain what I will never understand.

I went to the bank yesterday to close [ ] bank accounts, I was holding up pretty well until it started taking too long and then remembering how proud he was to open his own checking and savings accounts...he had a childhood savings account but this was his very own for his first paycheck from a company where he had always dreamed of working! He was living his dream and loving it! The lady who had helped him open the accounts last year was one of the ladies helping me yesterday and she recalled him and how handsome and what a gentleman he was...

I completely lost it!

Dear Susan,

How do I go on when I feel like there is no reason to...

How do I go to work when I feel unable to function...

I wish people would stop asking me how I am?

I got up and got dressed and came to work but I do not even bath everyday like I should...

Thank you for listening and caring.

Dear Susan,
What amazing hope and healing that has been going on the past few days on the site. So much conversation and so many ideas. Thank you for giving all of us this place to go.

Love,

Gretchen's mom

Dear Susan,
I can't begin to tell you how lost I was in an ocean of pain. I had nowhere to go. I tried a Compassionate Friends meeting, but it didn't work for me. No one seems to want to talk about "it," and I feel alone and lost. I think about dying all of the time. Is that normal? I hear it is, but I find talking to you and other parents who "get it" makes all of the difference in the world. When I found your web site and all of the wonderful "gifts" that come from you, I realize I can make it if everyone else can. I realize I'm not going crazy. I realize that with the hope I will have happiness again one day that I can keep going, even though I'm doing nothing but putting one foot in front of the other at this point. But, as you say, that's good enough. My family doesn't understand. They think I should be "getting on with life." How is that even possible? So I gave them your newsletters, and that helped them understand. Well, just thank you. I now have a place to go where I am never alone again.

Susan,
I received your packet of hope, and I devoured every word. I couldn't read it fast enough. Do you have any idea how much help this has given me, we, us? Where I live there isn't anything, not even a support group. I thought I would go mad. When I can't sleep in the middle of the night because I'm crying over [ ] death, I go to the web site and I read everything, sometimes twice. When I first get up each morning, I go to see who else has shared. I've posted two messages and received lots of responses. I have something to look forward to. I am going to send you a donation, even though I can't afford very much. I hope it helps a little.

Thank you, Susan, for taking your terrible pain and helping the rest of us.